Why do most of us live life as if we are compensating for a sin? As if we have to pay the price for living?
We experience many types of fear. They are like different leaves on the same tree. You can waste your life plucking every single leaf, as there are thousands of them, or you can strike directly at the tree's root and destroy all the fear leaves. Then the fear leaves will cease to grow..
Let us investigate the root of fear.
All fear arises from a sense of mind's cultivated lack. All fear stems from a sense of learned unworthiness that the outside world imposes on us from childhood. Our mind has cultivated a feeling that we are incomplete and that lack is to be filled with different forms brought from the outside world. Those forms consist of thoughts, ideologies, people, relationships, money, respect, and qualifications.
Why We are Ambitious and Competitive?
When you have that feeling of lack or unworthiness, you become ambitious and competitive. So you are compelled to achieve and acquire more and more, placing your self-worth on external things. Now, as you are always concerned about how others perceive you, your whole sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-concept depends on the world. All identities are derived from the outside world. Everything you value is now coming from outside yourself.
Your thoughts and assumptions are, "I am intrinsically unworthy and will only become worthy after acquiring such and such things for myself to prove to the world! Remember, this is all conditioned. This is part of your childhood training that says you don't matter without achievement. So you grow up and go out and succeed. But now, your entire sense of self is based on outward successes. And you achieved all these things because you want to be loved by the world.
Why Ego always make us feel fearful and Insecure?
Why we are always in the fear of filling our sense of lack with this or that? It is due to our egoic mind. Ego is identification with forms which primarily means thought and emotional forms. If evil has any reality—and it has a relative, not an absolute, reality—this is also its definition: complete identification with form—physical forms, thought forms, emotional forms. This results in total unawareness of my connectedness with every "other" and my inner being
The ego structure is to identify and enhance itself through association with its contents. Even if you achieved everything and once your short-live excitement of “having this or that” is finished. The ego keep “wanting more” by comparing you with others. The Ego loves to be a separate entity as "I" which is better and greater than "others" ( as ego lives on separation). Ego hates the present moment as it is preoccupied with the worry of the future or regret of the past. Time-past and future- is the lifeblood of ego.
Ego makes us feel lacking all the time
The ego's desire to become, to accomplish, stems from the inherent belief that something is lacking inside it . This characteristic of "Ego's lack" is existential and then fuelled by the world through the systems surrounding us, such as education and society. That something is missing within ourselves and that we must achieve to fill that void.
I am not saying here that striving to achieve this or that and making your life better with possessions is not a worthwhile thing to do. It is an integral part of outer purpose for most people, but the outer purpose is inherently unstable and temporary. This does not mean that you should not be engaged in achieving and acquiring worthy goals. It means you should connect them to your inner being so that a more profound meaning flows into what you do on outer level from your inner being.
The World Is An Illusion
Remember that what the world gives you can be taken away by the world anytime. So you live in this desperate thought that the world will NOT recognize you if you don't achieve continuously. This thought is known as fear. Remember, this is an egoic illusion. Ego and the world have implanted this illusion in us.
The dysfunctional thought of inner lack lies at the root of fear. It manifests itself in several ways. For example, we always want to look and feel perfect—the common fallacy of perfectionism. We portray ourselves by applying makeup on our faces, behavior, interactions, and CVs. This feeling of achieving this and that arises from a strong inferiority complex. It is this that has created fear and anxiety in us
We are continuously told that something is wrong with us and that we must always act to portray our self-worth in front of the world.
The Trap of Materialism
Don't you have a large house? Then there is something wrong with you. Is your car small? Then you are not worthy enough! Buy our new product and it will enhance you. Oh, you don't wear our clothing? Then you do not deserve to be called successful! You don't get paid this much? Oh, then you are really mediocre! What keeps you alive? People don't accept you in their circle or invite you? You are not deserving of life. That's what you're continually told: your whole self-worth is based on the world's perception of you.
Nobody comes to you and tells you that you are whole, beautiful, and wonderful exactly as you are. That you are enough as you are . That you may be weak in skills or knowledge. But you are whole as a being!. . All signals we receive from the media, educational society, or other people can be seen as attempts to make us feel inferior and/or diminish our soul.
The Secret of Living Fearlessly
You've assumed that something is missing in you, hence you are in the continuous process of "becoming" in all area of life. Kindly know this, what is genuinely precious can never be taken away from you. You are ever eternal being that has just identified with your mind and body. Your inherent quality is Sat-chit-Ananda. Being-Awareness- Bliss
The world has never given you anything meaningful, so how can it deprive you of it? Your being essence is so inextricably linked to your existence that no one can touch it.
The secret to living fearlessly is to be unattached to the outer world. The more you rely on the outside world, the more terrified you will be of your life.
Remember that you may miss worldly materialistic things here and there, like knowledge, ability, money, status, and so forth. But it's all illusionary and transitory. These things of the world are simply the tip of the iceberg. Your being is always eternal, aware, and blissful. One who lives in this understanding is not fearful. Fear will appear, but it will have no impact on him.
Kingdom of Heaven
As the Bible says, "Don't store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them.
As per Jesus, heaven is your inner kingdom of heaven. Your Being. Your Atma. Your inner stillness.
Yes, Heaven symbolizes our higher Being, our higher consciousness. Earth can be a symbol or allegory for the lower nature and matter, the physical part of creation. The physical part of the phenomenal world is illusionary, transitory, and fleeting. Even knowledge, ability, status, and money are part and parcel of Maya. I love how Aby exclaims that my Eternal Self can never be destroyed or taken away. Unfortunately, I have identified my soul with what is temporary, and I am unaware of this attachment. This is Self-Realization, the purpose of Life! Aby, you are right when you explain the root of my fear. For many years, I thought I was not good enough, and I looked for validation outside myself. With great esoteric learning like this, I have gained a different perspective. Thank you, Aby!
Thank you for the kind instructions. I appreciate it so much! I will remember to keep my attention in my chest, feeling for my Being/Presence/Energy.