Are you facing Illnesses & Injuries On Your Spiritual Path?
Understanding the Hidden Blessing in Life's Misfortunes
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Why did your career, daily routines, friendships, likes, and interests fall apart after waking up spiritually
In this article/video, I will share my own experience about how spirituality destroyed my mind and body, and I was re-born again with a newfound consciousness. Later, I learned how the fierce Grace forced me to surrender inward to Being because my mind never wanted to surrender but go outward and get lost in thinking and the world.
Understand that spiritual awakening is a self-destructive process and that your primary purpose in life is to realize your inner Being and Awaken. Once your mind realizes this truth, it will not bother you with unnecessary thoughts and emotions and easily surrender itself to the Inner Being
Let's first understand Why Spiritual Awakening is so painful to you. Why did your career, daily routines, friendships, likes, and interests fall apart after waking up spiritually? Why do you hate the things that used to make you happy in the past? You might wonder,
"What should I do with my life now?"
"How do I explain my deeper feelings after waking up to my family?"
The Difference between Spiritual Awakening & Spiritual Enlightenment
There are two types of processes a person goes through for Liberation. One is Spiritual Awakening and the other is Spiritual Enlightenment
Spiritual awakening is a long-term process in which you slowly start operating from a state of Being Instead of your mind. Your mind slowly dissolves, and you live from a surrendered state of Being that is one with God itself. This metamorphosis is like the transmutation of a butterfly from a caterpillar.
Spiritual enlightenment is when you get liberated in one instance, maybe in a few minutes, a few hours, or a day. This is a rare event when the person is fully realized, and the whole universe reveals itself to that person. Here, your center of Life changes from Mind to Being complete. Many enlightened sages go through this one-time event while on this earth. This depends upon your past birth Karma.
My Brain Tumor and Life of Competition
After my spiritual awakening, the spiritual journey wasn't always joyful for me. It was very confusing and frustrating. I felt angry, sad, and out of place. The Life I had built on competition and achievement didn't make sense anymore.
The physical pains also started in my life as if this emotional turmoil was not enough. I came across an intense Back pain that suddenly resurfaced after years. So I went to do an MRI to see why this Back Pain resurfaced. That was way back in June 2012. I finished the MRI, and the doctor came into my room with a startled look. I ask if everything is OK. He asked me to forget about my Back pain now as they incidentally spotted a "Brain Tumor" in me while they were taking my MRI scans.
When I heard that, instead of worrying, I was at peace. Can you imagine I was at peace? In the foreground, I was sad, but in the background, there was immense peace. During those days, I got irritated even at small things, but whenever some huge setbacks came into life, my mind would immediately surrender inward and become silent. Going back home, I gave this news to my wife, and she was crying and crying. But somehow, I felt all ok, and that inner peace never left me since.
Anyway, I went to a Brain tumor specialist and had surgery to remove my Brain Tumor. I successfully removed it. Here is the picture of myself in ICU after my Brain Tumor was removed in August 2012
Now, the question might arise in your mind:
Why do mental and physical illnesses come into our Lives after spiritual awakening?..
To find the answer to this question, I researched and read many spiritual books. I met some of the enlightened sages and realized the answer in my Being. The answer is that after a spiritual awakening, the Inner Being has called us to surrender our mind within so we can merge with the higher power within and operate our Lives from a surrendered state.
From this surrendered state, knowing takes place instead of thinking.
Being takes charge instead of the mind.
Our Lives prosper without the judgment and analysis of the mind. You perceive the world without thinking as your mind has merged with your Being.
I can guide you to that state right now.
Let me guide you to the Awakening State
Take two conscious Breaths.
Now, hear the silence outside yourself and feel the space. While hearing the silence and feeling the space, perceive the objects in your room. So, while writing this, I am perceiving this laptop or plant near me without thinking. Perception happens without thinking, as I am not labeling things.
Perception without Thought.
Perceiving things without thinking about them is a beautiful way to live. In a surrendered state, Life becomes very peaceful and joyful as you don't react to people and situations. There is no mental voice or thinking that is continuously bothering you.
The mind wants 3 Things.
After awakening, when your inner being invites you to have this Life of
No-thinking, your mind still wanders and wants to get lost in the world.
Your mind wants three things.
Money,
Relationships and
Fame.
It knew nothing about realizing God's Essence within you. Money, relationships, and fame are never enough for the mind. You can give an unlimited supply of these three things to the mind, but it will never feel satisfied. You know this is the only truth if you have lived long enough.
God gives us fierce grace in the form of physical illnesses so our minds stop chasing these 3 things and realize the truth within. When this physical illness comes, some percentage of our mind dissolves, intensifying our awakening. Hence, Suffering Brings an Awakening.
Do we need to suffer to awaken?
Now You Ask, But Why do we need to Suffer to Awaken?
No. All human beings don't go through Suffering. The people whose minds don't easily surrender inward go through Suffering. Now, this Suffering that I call "Fierce Grace" happens to people who inherited a very dense and materialistic mind due to their inherent mind tendencies. In a way, they have very egotistical minds that want to achieve this and that. You Don't Need to Suffer to Awaken.
Suffering is only necessary until you realize from your inner Being that it is Unnecessary.
The Right Question
The question is not What meaning those physical illnesses carry with them? The question is,
What meaning and response do I give from the Inner Being to that physical illness?
Ask What life wants from you at this stage.
Then, give a very conscious reply or Rest in Your Being.
Video: The Direct Way to Spiritual Awakening (The Greatest Teaching of Ramana Maharshi)
You may want to see this video on how people with a very dense and materialistic mind get awakened. They go through precisely this process. This is a beautiful story and a direct way to awakening.
Mental and physical Suffering comes to awaken you and dissolve your mind into Being. It pushed your mind inward towards God. In my case, Brain Tumor did the same thing.
Why did a Brain Tumor happen to me?
Later, It was proved that the Brain Tumor happened because of the excessive stress I was going through while building my real estate company in Dubai. When I lost everything, including my business, in the Financial crisis of 2008, my brain produced more harmful hormones and created that Tumor as my mind was constantly stressed.
You see I was born in Extreme Poverty in India. Because of my poor childhood and growing up struggling to meet even the basic necessities of Life, my ego was "conditioned" to feel scarcity and fear regarding the money. Hence my ego pushed me to work hard to become "somebody" and achieve this or that.
So my mind was always staying outwards, lost in the thoughts of achievement due to my childhood conditioning.
Awakening comes to destroy your mind
The point is awakening comes to destroy your mind, and if your mind does not dissolve, you might get physical illnesses and that will force your mind to surrender inward. So, for the example's sake, let's talk about the dissolving of the mind in percentages. Let's say your first awakening dissolves 30% of your mind, but still, 70% of your mind is active. There will be more "Fierce Grace" or Suffering if you don't surrender your mind inward. Because once the awakening happens to you, it can't be reversed. Yes, your Egoic mind might delay the awakening by keeping your attention outward constantly. But eventually, you will be forced by Fierce Grace to surrender your mind inward.
The second destruction of my Mind and a thought of Suicide
I am happy to report that after my brain tumor, my mind was ready to surrender and dissolve in Being. But it was not the case. There was some more mind left with its inclination and desires.
After healing my Brain Tumor, I have severe chronic Back pain with sciatica. This chronic Back pain and sciatica was so worse that I couldnt sleep in night. I have started doing yoga, physiotherapy, and many other physical exercises to overcome this back pain, but it never healed. For 4 years I struggled to get relieved from Back Pain. But this whole Back pain and body pain persisted.
One night my wind was really upset due to this horrifying chronic back pain. The thought of suicide came to my mind. Literally a thought cross over to end my Life. That was in 2016. So I was oscillating between the bliss of awakening and then again the agony of Back pain. But that night I have had enough. . I cried a lot. If you ever had a chronic Back pain, your Life feels like a burden. This Back pain broke me. My Brain Tumor was literally a cakewalk in front of this chronic Back Pain.
That night i absolutely broke down. My daughters came and hugged me, I got silent, thinking that it was not good to show them my Pain. At midnight, I yelled toward the sky in my bedroom and swore to God. I was so tired of that Pain for 4 years that I lost all my patience. In fact, I was speaking to my father, looking in the Sky, who died six years ago, so that he could explain to God either to heal my Back Pain or end my Life. My wife hugged me tightly while was crying and yelling to God.I dont know when I slept.
How I Healed My Chronic Back Pain That Persisted for 4 Years
When I woke up in the morning on that day, I sat for meditation. After meditation, a conscious thought came to my mind: "Aby, for every problem in your Life, you read books; why don't you read one of the bestselling books to heal your Back Pain? And i said can anybody heal their physical back pain by reading the book? For 4 years, I have been visiting several doctors, physiotherapists, and yoga gurus, and it is not healing. How can anybody heal back pain by reading a book?
But then anyway i surrender to that calm voice coming from my heart. I went to Amazon and researched chronic back pain books, and I came across this book called "Healing Back Pain" by Dr. John Sarno. So I read some reviews and bought it.
After reading that book in 45 days my Back pain was healed. There is absolutely no pain.
And this Back Pain is again due to stress, as, after the destruction of my Business in 2008, my mind was always worried about how to build my life and take care of my family again.
I will not go into deep in this video about how my Back pain healed. For that just read this book. And read this book for any chronic body pain you have.
The third and fourth destruction of my Mind and Body
So, after this Suffering of Back pain, I would love to tell you that my mind fully dissolved and surrendered to Being. But it was NOT SO. After a few months, my mind got busy initiating and researching to start a business, as my whole mind identity was built on my profession.
Again, I met with Fierce Grace when I was planning to start some commercial business in Singapore. This time I completely Broke my ACL and knee as we are planning to relocate to Singapore. After this, for one year, I couldn't stand up properly. For the next two years, I couldn't even walk.
Here is my MRI Report stating the Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) of my Knee is completely broken.
The doctor asked me to go for immediate surgery and told me that if I don't go for surgery, my knees need to be replaced in the future. Because surgery is the only option when your ACL fibers are completely broken.
I DIDN’T opt to go for surgery as, this time, I didn't want to cut my body part. I put my faith in the Miracle of Life and God. It took me two years to Heal naturally with lots of physiotherapy. But I got healed fully
After the last accident, my mind didn't surrender and slowed down. Now, The last destruction of my mind was coming, and this time, it would dissolve my ego totally.
In the last encounter with fierce Grace, I damaged the cuff rotator muscle of my shoulder in an accident and completely lost the movement of my shoulder. The Cuff rotator tear of the shoulder is the most painful thing to have. It's been proven in the medical circle that nothing will give you more pain than when you break your cuff rotator muscle.
Again, another two years went by to heal naturally. But those two years is my experience in Hell. I was oscillating in the Bliss of my Being and Agony of my physical pain. But this time, it was different. I was able to completely detach from the physical pain and learn to go totally inward in my Being. I used to stay there for hours, transcending my mind and body. It was a "beautiful suffering" where I dissolved my mind completely.
After this accident, I completely surrendered my mind Inward, and my mind never rose up again. Now, my Life is an expression of Peace and Joy of inner Being. My mind no longer pushes and pulls me into wild mental states. The fluctuation from awakening states to egoic states has completely stopped.
Why did I have to go through the destruction of my mind and body?
Why did I have to go through these trials and errors of destruction of mind and body?
Because my whole Life, I have identified and operated from the mind, I feel that my existence was being destroyed as my mind was dissolving due to awakening. So, my mind never wanted to Surrender and realize peace. My mind made me run around to eliminate all the worries, and that was just an excuse for not surrendering inward.
As my conditioned mind pattern was dying, my mind made me feel miserable by re-identifying myself with its old dysfunctional patterns.
After fully surrendering my mind inward, I realized that I am NOT my mind. I am the awareness that is observing my mind. And I become one with that awareness as that is God itself.
The Great sign from Life about what it wants from you
After a spiritual awakening, there is a great sign about what Life wants from you. And that sign comes in the form of doors shutting on your face. No matter how much you try to return to your old way of Life or career, the door keeps shutting on your face. An illness or accident can happen if you repeatedly knock on the same door. The "Fierce Grace" shows you how to pursue a new path.
You might ask, if it's so, everyone will rest in their Being without making any effort. What is the point of doing anything in the world, then?
Its a great question.
What is the greatest effort according to the ancient scripture?
The most significant effort is to surrender your mind inward and abide in Being with all your power of will and action. This is the essence of Ramana Maharshi's teachings too.
Jesus said: Once you realize the Kingdom of Heaven within you, everything will be added to you.
Once you surrender your mind inward, you are NOT the doer, but God is the doer through you. Then the universe will act through you to manifest its purpose. This non-doership is the most significant spiritual truth, and it absolves you from all karma. God is No-Body and No-Thing and he does nothing, yet he leaves nothing undone. The ordinary man is always doing things, yet many more are left to be done.
How do you attain awakening while being active in the world
You don't need to leave your home, family, and possessions to attain spiritual awakening
After going through 15 years of spiritual awakening process, after my first awakening in August 2008, I realized that people don't need to leave their homes, family, and possessions to attain spiritual awakening. Resting your mind in inner Being while active in the world is the most significant spiritual practice, and once you deeply understand this, no spiritual practice, scripture, or Guru is required, as while resting in Being, you are ONE with God all the time.
Let me know about your spiritual awakening process in the comment below.
Also, If you have any questions, you can ask me in the comments below