No.1 Cause of Unhappiness
Mind Expectation Gap
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The Silent Thief of Joy
Have you noticed that even when everything seems fine on the outside, the mind finds some reason to complain, worry, or feel dissatisfied?
Let me suggest a small experiment. Just watch your thoughts for a day. Notice how often your mind isn't focused on what IS, but on what should have been (past), shouldn't be (present), or must happen (future)
This constant gap between what is and what your mind expects is called the Mind Expectation Gap (MEG)
Your experience of life is not shaped by the world, but by the gap between your mind’s expectations and reality. And this gap is the root cause of human suffering.
"Your suffering isn't caused by life. It's caused by your argument with life."
After conducting numerous one-on-one spiritual counseling sessions, I realized that the main cause of people's suffering is their Mind Expectation Gap (MEG) with situations and people.
Two Kinds of Mind Expectation Gaps
There are two main ways the mind creates this misery:
MEG for Situations – "Life should be different."
MEG for People – "They should be different."
And these play out across three timelines: Past, Present, and Future.
Let us look at this in simple terms:
🔥 Mind Expectation Gap for Situations
How your mind resists life and robs you of peace
Past:
“I can’t be happy now because of what happened back then.”
Your mind keeps replaying an old wound, refusing to let it rest. It insists that until the past changes (which it never can), you must stay miserable.
Present:
“This moment is wrong. It shouldn't be like this.”
The mind is at war with reality. Instead of meeting life as it is, it resists, complains, and judges. Peace is postponed until the world bends to its demand. But that moment never comes.
Future:
“Until something I want happens, I won’t be at peace.”
The mind sets conditions for happiness: “I’ll be okay only when X happens.” You become a hostage to outcomes. Frustration builds. And the future, instead of being inspiring, becomes a prison of unmet expectations.
⚡️ Mind Expectation Gap for People
How the egoic mind blames others for your inner unrest
Past:
“You hurt me. Because of you, I suffer today.”
The mind replays what someone did or didn’t do and hands them the remote control to your emotional state. It refuses to forgive, hoping the past can be fixed by present resentment.
Present:
“You’re not doing what I need. That’s why I’m unhappy.”
You tie your peace to someone else’s behavior. Their flaws become your excuse to stay triggered. Instead of seeing their humanity, you see a problem to be fixed.
Future:
“You won’t change. So I’ll suffer forever.”
The mind assigns roles to people they never auditioned for. It then creates a future story of pain and disappointment before anything even occurs. You suffer not from what is, but from what you believe will be.
Release and Heal All Mental Conditioning & Triggers
Remember, you are not your mind, thoughts, or emotions. You are the awareness behind them.
Every person perceived as evil or every situation that causes pain holds the potential for the greater good. This powerful blessing reveals itself, inside you and outside in the world, when you surrender to being within and forgive and bless the people and situation that caused you harm.
That's why Jesus said: "Resist not evil."
Resolve Quarrels, Heal Suffering, and Dissolve Unconsciousness
When you forgive and bless past painful situations and people, an intense stillness arises inside and around you. That is consciousness itself. You vibrate at the energy of peace. Anything or anybody entering into the peaceful energy will be affected by it. Sometimes, that happens immediately, and other times, it occurs later.
You will resolve quarrels, heal suffering, and dissolve unconsciousness- without making any efforts- simply by emanating the powerful silent energy of intense awareness. Awareness is your true nature when you surrender inward.
💬 Final Words
This is not about suppressing your thoughts. It is about seeing through them.
When you drop the Mind Expectation Gap, you don’t become passive. You become powerful because you are no longer trapped in your unconscious reactions. You become life itself. And life, in its natural state, is Love, Joy, and Peace.
✨ Reflection for You
Where in your life are you holding onto a Mind Expectation Gap about a person or a situation?
Can you sit quietly today and become aware of the gap… and then let it go?
Let the peace of this moment touch you, not when things change, but right now.
Your Suffering is Never Caused by the Person You are Blaming
Blame is seductive. It offers a false sense of clarity, a neat division between victim and offender. Blame provides a false sense of fulfillment that the problem is “outside of you”. But in reality, it keeps you trapped, bound to the very pain you wish to escape.
Nailed me. And as a longtime member of AA, this is one of the major tenets. I think I need to break out my Big Book!
I subscribed and perhaps, when I can afford it, would like to has a session or more with you.
I had a spiritual awakening about three years ago and have been really struggling ever since, losing my interest in things that used to give me joy, losing interest in shallow relationships, losing interest in my work as a hospice social worker and even losing interest in music which was my life blood!
I’m just being a rock that can’t move.
I have read that it’s pretty normal but for this long?
The greatest cause of Unhappiness is to have DESiRE to get something which is unsatisfied.
PN